When I want to feel summer, when I want to hear the voice of nature whispering, and feel the edge of my soul, I go to the Han.
There’s a spot at this river, under a bridge where two blues- water and sky- mingle with gold of city lights in the evening. Sometimes the sunsets are spectacular; and riding a bus crossing one of those bridges, I can stare out at a cityscape dominated not by city but by water- by this river, disproportionate: too wide for such a short journey from headwaters to sea. The river dwarfs the city- the skyscrapers, underwhelming. Great state buildings, humble.
At the river’s edge, the voice I come to hear is the water, lapping gently against the concrete slope, the bridge pillars.
But I also can’t help bringing friends here, when I want heartfelt discussion. Something about the water, perhaps, brings forth our depths.
A few weeks ago, I brought a friend to the river, and he mentioned an opportunity I have dreamed about my whole life but never thought possible. Not only is it possible, I can pursue it in a matter of months. I won’t say much for now but I will say- suddenly, my whole life is at the river’s edge, about to sail out upon unknown waters.
Everyone has a dream that they keep so deep they hide it from themselves. Because it’s so terrifying, so haunting, so incredibly big and impossible, bigger and greater and more wonderful than one mere person can ever be.
If we are vigilant, if we make a practice of staring through the hidden terror that comes with being alive- if we strive to maintain a dialogue with our innermost souls, through everything that happens in life- but most importantly, if we are lucky, if we are so so so so so so very lucky- sometimes we learn that the dream isn’t quite so impossible after all.
In the end, our dreams are humble- make art, raise a child, travel, dance, whatever the dream is, once the veil of terror is taken away, the dream is seen for what it is- a beautiful consequence of being human, the inevitability of each of us having a unique soul.
Mine is no different- it’s humble, it’s beautiful.